Misty's view on Shipping
by Wild Growlithe
Summary: Poor Misty has been paired off with more people on pokemon than anyone else. What does she have to say about all of it?


Disclaimer: If I forgot to say that I don't own pokemon in a fic like this, would nintendo really sue me? That would be pretty low of them......

A/N: This is actually more of a warning. So let me change that to...

WARNING: This fic WILL be bashing several things that you readers may like and may offend you, but I don't think that badly. Also, be warned that my views _are_ slightly biased. One more thing, if you're gonna flame me, then flame me because the idea sucked or my writing style was bad. DON'T flame me because you don't like the things I'm saying about some topics, because you were warned. That's all for now, I hope you like it! ^_^

I'm usually not one to rant. Okay, maybe I am. But in this case, I think it's for a very good reason! My wonderful reputation is being tarnished before my very eyes! I think it's time I finally expressed my opinion about all of this....shipping.

Being the only important female character on a show is not as easy as it seems. It's hard work, let me tell ya! I mean, no matter how many new traveling partners we get, they're always male! And since I'm the only girl in the group, it's up to me to be the brains, the beauty, and the overall best part of our group. It is not an easy job, but I manage. But now, I've noticed something else that comes with being the only girl. People seem to love pairing me off with every single guy on the show! Don't think I haven't seen all of your various works out there on the net! I've been put with so many different pokemon guys, my head is spinning! I even came across a fic where I was falling for three characters at once! It's making me look like a slut! Not only that, but I've been put with other girls and pokemon too! Pokemon!!! And some of the things they had me do with the pokemon.....::shudder:: I don't want to talk about it. I've seen how many different people Ash has been put with in stories, Brock and Team Rocket too. I have the most! And why is that? It's because I'm the only available _attractive _girl on the show. Now normally, I'd be flattered to have so much attention. But this is too much! So, I would like to express my opinion on all of these "shippings" that involve yours truly. I think I'll start with....

Egoshipping: Don't ask me why I'm starting with this one. Maybe it's because it's so unlikely. I mean, Gary is Ash's rival! He's the one who used to call one of my best friends (not to mention me and the others on occasion) a loser constantly. He was the one person who could break Ash's spirit with a few words, and he exercised that ability quite often. To be blunt, Gary was a jerk! Sorry, but I usually don't go for guys who mistreat my friends. Let's also remember that I hardly know Gary! Yeah, I know you people are going to come out and say "But if you got to know him, maybe you'd get to like him more." Keyword there: maybe. I know that Gary's finally matured, but really don't know what kind of person he is, and I really don't care to find out. Besides, he's too dedicated to pokemon and making a name for himself. At least Ash knows how to kick back once in a while and enjoy real human company. (no, cheerleaders don't count.) And on my own behalf, I'm not the type of person who would ditch one of her closest friends to go run off with his arch rival. What would that do to poor little Ash? And that hair.....ugh. It makes him look like a porcupine. And one more thing, why exactly is it called egoshipping? I know that Gary's ego can be the size of Cincinnati, but you're not accusing _me _of having a big ego are you? ARE YOU?? ::deep calming breaths:: Let's see, next on the list....

Gymshipping: ::tries to hold in laugter:: HAHAHAHAAAAA!! Me? Attracted to Brock? Are you crazy? Hahaha!! ::catches breath:: First off, let's say that Brock is not my type. Hate to say it, but I don't really find myself attracted to perverts. I'd prefer someone a little more dedicated in a relationship. And has Brock ever been dedicated? The guy's told Officer Jenny or Nurse Joy that they were more beautiful than the other in the same episode. Many times, I might add. Not to mention he's a total goofball. Who would want to go out with a guy who would probably drool on them for an entire date? He's just not my idea of a good romantic partner. How could I gaze deeply into someone's eyes if they don't have any? And he's got porcupine hair too! Actually it looks more like a hedgehog than a porcupine...but that's off the subject. Another thing is that know-it-all attitude...it pisses me off sometimes. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like Brock. He is very close to me. But it's a different kind of closeness, he's more like a big brother to me. Would anyone out there want to date their brother? Didn't think so. There are plenty of other girls out there to reject Brock, he doesn't need to add me to the list. Moving on.....

Orangeshipping: .......I didn't think Tracey went that way. Okay, maybe he is interested in girls, but if he is, it's not me he's interested in. Bleach, not that I'd want him to be. Tracey never really struck me as the romantic type, aside from some of his wacky theories. Plus he's a little too.....feminine for my tastes. I mean, there's the head band, the voice....it all makes him seem a little girly. That's why it scares me when people say that we're "cute" together. What does that say about my taste in guys? And also, if I did get together with him, that means I'd have to live with Prof. Oak. I'm sure that Tracey would have it no other way. And living with Oak would mean that he'd want to do experiments on my poor little Togepi.....Sorry Trace, you're a nice guy, but I just don't see it working out between us. What's next....

Bitchshipping: First off, I'd like to know who came up with the name for this, so I can PUNCH THEIR TEETH OUT!! I can understand perfectly why you'd call that snob Jessie a bitch, but me? How could you accuse a delicate flower such as myself of being such a horrible thing? You must REALLY have a death wish!! ::deep breaths:: Anyway, this is just another one of those pairings where someone says "Oh! They're rivals! They must be in love!" What kind of logic is that? If you put me alone in a room with that prima donna, I'd sooner rip off her head than kiss her! And how dare you say that I have anything in common with that old bag! I'm much more beautiful, talented, caring, lovable, and modest than that witch will ever be! Hmph. Even if I _was _a lesbian, that woman would be my last choice on earth! I'm getting more and more pissed off with each one of these....

Poke/Gaki/Twerp/Bike/Sakashipping: Ah, everyone's favorite. Just how many names does this have anyway? The list goes on and on....Anyway I'd like to start by saying that contrary to popular belief, I don't have a crush on Ash Ketchum. I mean, how could I possibly care for that dense, immature, egotistical, self-absorbed, pig-headed, adorable..er...I mean annoying little jerk? I know that I fight with him and pick on him a lot, but that doesn't mean that I like him or anything. And just sneaking an occasional glance at the guy doesn't mean anything either. So then you'd ask why I keep following him? I can answer that! It's because....um....what was it again? Oh yeah! My.....bike! That's it. He still hasn't paid me back. It's not like I've forgotten about it or anything, I just decided to be nice and lay off for a little, that's all. He is my friend, I'll give you that, but that I'm not in love with him. Nope. Not at all. And I know you say that there are a lot of hints in the show. I say....what hints? I haven't seen any hints, or heard any...songs or anything. And I definitely didn't sing any. Wasn't me. No way. I've seen so many fics with me and Ash falling in love it makes me want to throw up! Especially those perverted hentai fics. What are those authors thinking?

Ash: Oh come on Misty, I've seen you reading them.

Misty: Ash? What are you doing here, this is my fic!

Ash: I know that you've read lots of lemon fics with me and you in 'em. You always look for them on the computer when you think no one's looking.

Misty: ::beet red:: Sh-shut up Ash, that's not true!

Ash: Sure it is, just look at you blushing. Give it up Misty, you know they turn you on.

Misty: Grrrr.....I thought I told you that this is my fic Ash! Now get out!!! ::Pulls out her mallet and sends Ash flying out of the fic::

Ash: Waaaaaa!!

Misty: Anyway, now that that little distraction's over with, I can turn my attention back to more important matters....I wasn't really blushing was I?

Richie+Mistyshipping: This one doesn't have a name, so I just left it at that. Richie was a really nice guy, but once again, I don't think a relationship between us would work. I really didn't know Richie very well when we met him, and around that time was when Ash needed me and Brock to be at his side. Not to mention that whole situation where I beat the crap out of him in front of the entire stadium...I don't think he's gotten over that yet. Richie also lacks another thing that I look for in guys....a personality. Come on people, let's face it. He really wasn't on the show long enough to be given much of a personality. The writers just don't give some people things. I wasn't given parents, Ash wasn't given a father, Brock wasn't given eyes, and Richie wasn't given a personality. Poor guy. Sorry, but I just can't date a guy who doesn't have one. And also, I don't think that beating someone up in front of a large crowd of people would be a very good start to a relationship.....

Chestshipping: This is a joke, right? I mean the whole name sounds like a joke itself. Chestshipping? Not only is this accusing me of being a lesbian again, but it's also showing disrespect for the great Prima. Come on, can't a girl have a childhood hero and not be accused of being in love with her? I guess in anime you can't. Note#1: I know that I got all red with hearts around my head, but those could be interpreted in many ways. Wouldn't you blush if you finally got to meet a person you'd looked up to for all of your life? And those hearts have been seen in many places before. When they're around a character, it can mean friendship, love, admiration, or other things like that. I guess I can see how it mislead some people, so I guess I just had to clear it up for you. Note#2: I know that me and Tracey kept staring at a certain "area" when we met Prima, but I would like to inform you people that I was actually seeing if the rumors were true about Prima stuffing her bra. I don't know why Tracey was staring there...maybe he was jealous. Now that that's cleared up, we can move on again....

Misty+Pikachushipping: ..........No comment.........

Misty+Jamesshipping: Yet another one without a name. Great, now I've been stuck with both Rockets. Maybe Jessie likes cross-dressers, but I don't. James may be handsome, and he may not have porcupine hair, but he's a little too freaky for me. I really can't say that I find him appealing in that tutu...or that puffy dress....or that wedding gown...ugh... Another thing to take into consideration here......

WE'RE ENEMIES!!! Team Rocket has been trying to steal Pikachu and the rest of our pokemon since the day we met them. Not to mention they're a bunch of total losers who always fail. And if I fall into one more pit thanks to those morons...heads will roll.....

Trovitashipping: Well, this one doesn't piss me off as much as the others. Maybe it's because it seemed pretty likely. Rudy was very suave and charming, and his offer did seem very enticing to me. But there was someone..er...something that was more important to me. And though I know he did have feelings for me, I didn't really return them. I know that my fans probably want me to be happy with my very own bishounen living in a fancy mansion on a tropical island, but I'm much happier with Ash...and everyone else, that is. But it sure was nice getting all of that attention for a while...hehehe....

Well, I know that there are probably a few more ships that I overlooked, but I think that ten was enough to prove my point! It seems that being paired with several different characters will just have to be another hardship I'll have to deal with. I'm telling you, being the only girl is a headache. Maybe you guys could lighten up a little and shorten the list? ......I didn't think you would. Well anyway, I gotta get going. I think that I need to have a little "talk" with Ash.....::snicker:: (interpret that last part however you want. The end.)

::looks around:: Is anyone still reading? Yay! Some people are. First off, I'd like to say sorry to Tracey fans. I really don't dislike Tracey, it's just that he's so easy to bash, and I had to make this at least a little funny somehow. Also, don't forget what I said about flaming. I warned all of ya, and if you skipped my author's notes before, that's your own problem. But please tell me if you liked it or not. I tried posting it on ff.net on my birthday (aug. 16th- send me a card! ^-^) but it wasn't working. Oh well, that's life. The Wild Growlithe is signing off for now. Ciao!


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